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72. My Hooters Experience

  • Writer: Dylan Smith
    Dylan Smith
  • Jan 11, 2023
  • 2 min read
Day 72
Location 15: Lisbon
Jan. 11, 2023

Throughout my trip, I've been adhering to my self-imposed rule that:
I can only eat McDonald's if: (1) it's someone else's idea and (2) that person is not American.
So far, I've followed this rule (with one justified exception) and only eaten at McDonald's when suggested by an Irishman and a Dutchman. However, today while waiting for my plane to London at the Lisbon airport, I grew hungry for both food and a taste of home. With my overstuffed backpack weighing heavy upon my shoulders, I looked up at the golden arches that stretched out like the hand of an old friend eager to lead me inside on a cold afternoon. Except in this case, the hand is greasy and the friend is overweight.

In a moment of weakness, I approached the counter. A delicate choice lay in front of me: do I satisfy my hunger or my pride? The answer: neither. The McDonald's prices were outrageous, so I went to the pasta place next door and simultaneously satisfied my hunger, pride, and my wallet. Nice try, Ronald.

Oh also, here's a photo of me killing it as Ronald McDonald for Halloween in 2015.


Speaking of traveling by plane, one time I flew to Florida during my 2018 Spring Break to meet my friends who were joining me on a cruise through Mexico. Once I arrived in the godforsaken state, they shared their location and I met them at their restaurant of choice. To my bewilderment, their restaurant of choice was Hooters. Like the restaurant famous for bad wings and waitresses with huge boobs.

Sure, it's a nice choice for a group of young, single, horny men preparing for a week-long cruise full of debauchery and international courtship. So why was I bewildered? Because our group demographic did not consist of young, single, horny men. The people going on the cruise were (1&2) a guy and girl, who were in a committed relationship, (3) a gay man, (4) a straight woman who liked good food, (5) another gay man, (6&7) another guy and girl in a committed relationship, (8) another gay man, (9&10) two more guys in a committed relationship, (11) one last gay man, and finally (12) me. It would've made a lot more sense for us to eat at Tallywackers.

For everyone who just googled Tallywackers, I'm sorry but they're permanently closed.

Anyway, all that is to say my last few photos of Lisbon were beautiful and included a big cruise ship that reminded me of that Spring Break trip. Below is said view and a photo from said trip.



 
 
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